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How mid-lifers are feeling heading into 2021

midlife crisis midlife quiz Dec 30, 2020
midlife crisis

As I write, we're coming to the end of what has been one of the craziest years ever.  There's no doubt 2020 has produced challenge upon challenge for most of us.  But for a great many in midlife, it has been especially challenging.

I've continued to provide my ground breaking Midlife Crisis Quiz, and with thousands of people completing it, now is a great time to update the results coming through.

So this is what mid-lifers have been saying.  The chart shows the percentage of respondents who strongly or mostly agree with the following statements:

Midlife Quiz Results (so far)

These results are pretty self-explanatory, and very sobering.

I'm Drifting

Midlifers feel like they are not in control of their choices or their future, that they are feeling like they are drifting at the whim of the circumstances of life.

In addition to what you see in the above chart:

  • 78% say they are considering walking away from a job, business or relationship
  • 67% say they are more angry or emotional than they used to be, and
  • 87% say something big needs to change soon.

The answers were generally similar from both men and woman, with the biggest differences in these questions:

  Men Women
I lack energy 62% 87%
I'm considering a major life change 38% 51%
I'm often thinking things that disturb me or think that I'm going crazy 68% 83%


My experience tells me that a higher percentage of woman are really honest with themselves when things aren't going well.  But it's clear that it's not just men who go through midlife crisis.

What About YOU - here's what to do next

Can you relate to any of this?

Despite how bleak we feel the present is, the truth is that there are ALWAYS choices.  Most of the time, we don't see them all, haven't explored them properly, and/or are afraid of what will happen if we do.

If this is you, I recommend doing the following as a starting point:

  1. Find someone to talk to who has no vested interest in your choices.
    • This means it can't be a friend of family member.
    • It also needs to be someone who will really listen to not just your words, but your emotions as well, and
    • someone who won't just 'solve your problem', but will help you grow enough to start and then sustain change
  2. Take stock of where your life is right now.  The wheel of life exercise is a good place to start.  Email me and I'll happily send you this tool (free of charge) with instructions.  But it's best done with the assistance with the person in step one.
  3. Ask yourself some questions.  These may not be easy to do, but work on them bit by bit and keep going.  Do them thoughtfully, and be truthful with yourself.  Ask: 
    • If I was to wake up in 12 months time and my life was the way I want it to be, this is what I would be feeling, seeing, thinking, experiencing ...
    • How would this benefit me and those I care about?
    • What is the single biggest reason I'm not at that place?
    • What resources am I not currently using to 100% to help me get there?
    • What are the things I do not want to lose (perhaps that I am most afraid of losing) along the way?
    • What am I likely to be experiencing in 12 months if I do nothing?
    • What is a simple step that I can take today to get me moving towards what I seek?

Those 3 steps are harder than they sound, but something profound happens when we do them.

Even though I'm a coach, and sometimes seen as an 'expert' in vision setting and helping people enact life change, but I still ask myself those same questions.  They aren't just good questions for when we are in or near a time of crisis.  They are also great questions to ask ourselves anytime we want change.

What's Your Plan for Making 2021 a Year of Change?

What would your future self be willing you to do on this this week?

At a minimum, I encourage you to start by asking yourself those questions, and seeing what they reveal about your next steps.


P.S. If you'd like a confidential and free discussion with me, you can book that through my online calendar through this link.



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